He has the deed half done who has made a beginning

I've finally joined the blogging world. A place for my internal musings that usually get passed around to a few friends to find traction in the greater world...or not.

Like most things in life, its a work in progress. Right now I'm a little sidetracked playing with design ideas instead of writing (and maybe with the beginning of Conan..). I have every intention of making an entirely new design/layout at some point..but I just cant link people to a site that I don't think looks presentable. Also, I'm carefully watching my spelling and grammar so as to not come under fire *cough* Janel/Christen *cough*. That takes time.

If you're here, you probably already know I'm a fan of discourse. Sometimes I participate, but sometimes I like to sit back and observe. I want this blog to be my honest thoughts on feelings on a variety of subjects. Life. Love. Spirituality. Maybe politics every two years (luckily I'm starting Nov. 8th of an election year, so we have a while). But whatever the subject I want to try and just share my observations. I don't know them to be right or wrong, but I want to know the thoughts of others. Perspective is everything.

Enough stalling.

So, it begins. The inaugural post.

(Since this isn't a script or a paper for school, it looks like I'm going to be long winded..hence, this post will be broken up into a few "Episodes")


Episode I - The Run

Earlier this week I was on a run. Sometimes I run for health. Sometimes I run because it helps me think through ideas. Sometimes I run to work off emotional energy. I think this one was a bit of all three. I was praying while I ran. No iPod this trip. Just me, the sound of nature, and my thoughts. I was asking for guidance and peace. Peace about what I'm doing and where I'm headed. Prayer for wisdom to what opportunities I should be looking to explore. Where should I look to head? What sort of work should I be looking for to bolster my resume? Should I be working towards building my own business? Should I look into summer internships? Then something settled in my heart.

"Have you thought about just living in the present for once?"

I was shocked. I've been through the "I'm not satisfied with where I am, I want to be further in life, I want to be working a real job, living a real life, I want to be in a better personal position", but that's not exactly the feeling I had been having going into this. I'm generally excited with where I am at school, and look forward to  my coming classes, I'm not trying to jump past them. I have, however, been looking into the future trying to set everything up so that I can jump right from school (of which I still have nearly a year and a half) into some sort of work, either as an independent production company, or working to make and maintain a variety of contacts throughout the industry that I may be able to call upon for a job. Both of these would require a good amount of work. Work I enjoy, but work nonetheless.

But then it hit me. I don't know the last time I wasn't working looking towards the future, feeling like life was passing me by in some ways. Not that I'm a workaholic, I hang out with my buddies a lot, but all of my downtime was spent looking for ways to make the next jump forward towards "regular life". A solid job that provides and doesn't leave me nervous as I live paycheck to paycheck. Something that would allow me breathing room to do the things I want..travel..have a regular schedule..serve more..pursue a meaningful relationship...

But I couldn't shake the simple truth that was laid before me. For once, maybe I should take a step back, and explore where I am instead of rushing to where I'm going. I've always had a hard time with this, because I've felt like it was irresponsible to just live day to day without working towards the future..but I'm not looking to be stagnant or lazy. I'm looking to finally stop relying on myself to get me from point A to point B, and to really give that to God. To live here and now and focus on where He has put me and seek His will here and now, and see how/where I can better serve Him. I can be a good steward of where I am, and He will bring me where I need to be better than I'll ever do myself. That's not being lazy. That's being ordinary.

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(Excerpts from the next post)

Episode II - Ordinary

I found myself in Durham again this weekend, as I often do, and very much at odds with myself as to whether or not I should leave early. In the end..I'm glad I stayed, for a variety of reasons. I got some good friend time in, the things that were prompting me to consider leaving were naught, and by staying, I heard a great sermon that really spoke to me. It strongly dovetailed the things I had been thinking about lately and gave me a wider view and perspective. 


You can listen to it here. "David and the Pasture"
http://www.summitrdu.com/sermons


It really struck me on two fronts...enough that I had to take two separate sets of notes. One of what we were discussing directly, which was similar to the thoughts from my previous post, and the other of ways in which it particularly applied to me, in a variety of ways...

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Keep a weather eye open for the next post. It will likely be here soon. For now, however, it is goodnight.

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