Be still and know that I am God

Its been a little while since i've posted. I didn't lose interest or material..I got a little busy with school and had trouble focusing on one thing to write about...and before you know it, here we are. However, there have been a few things pop through my mind..so ill share. (Fair warning, i'm very vague on where this post is headed currently, so buckle in and lets see what happens.)

While running (something else ive slacked on :/) I often find myself contemplating. Planning. Creating. This time, I was thinking, "What should I be focusing on. I'm doing Ok in school, where should I be placing my energies to be more productive?". I was slightly worrying about the future..more of which direction to head, what I should be focusing on school wise..and a phrase would keep coming up in my head and giving me peace.

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

We hear this and we think, "ok, I need to quiet myself and focus on God. I need to not let myself be consumed with my worries, so that I can better listen to Him" which is true. However...theres a deeper meaning.

The Hebrew term is raphah. It has a variety of meanings based on context. In the context used, it means something akin to "to let go" or "to become weak in yourself".

"Be weak in yourself and know that I am God."
"Let it go, and know that I am God."

How much more profound is that when you begin to think in all terms of the word? All of the possible meanings work. They all lead you to where you need to be. You need to be still sometimes. To be still is to forsake all that is going on around you, clouding your mind, keeping you from seeing and hearing God. Let it go despite your fears of doing so. Be weak in yourself  knowing that it is God who grants you strength.

God works best and is glorified most in those who make themselves weak. The more we try and complete in and of ourselves, the further we are from God's heart. Its simple humility vs. pride. If we humble ourselves, and weaken ourselves to let Him shine, He will complete, fulfill, and grow you. If we are proud and demand our own way, we may get it..but fair warning : "History shows again and again how nature points out of the folly of men." (yes, I quoted Blue Oyster Cult).

Me? I pray for God to create in me a clean heart, and to renew a right spirit within me. Because I have a hard time being the kind of humble I need to be. I know I want to be. But I dont always know how to be. That comes from pursuing God. And thats the spirit I pray He will renew within me. Not for me. For Him. Despite me. Despite my shortcomings. Despite my sins. Despite my failures. May I learn to have the right heart that lets God shine and keeps me hidden.